last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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