he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
