i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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