I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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