It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
