Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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