..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
