The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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