I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize