Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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