I CAN MOONWALK!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
