1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize