We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
