They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
barbara walters just said penis...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
