had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize