I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
