Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
