My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
