my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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