hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
