I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize