I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
