we're chasing vodka with high fives
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
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Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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