You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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