So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
