so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
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Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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