I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
