I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
