My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize