eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
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GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
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When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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