hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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