Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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