That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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