careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
