I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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