She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
