ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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