Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
