chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
