Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
