Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize