I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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