Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
