i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
