The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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