He uses pillows to masturbate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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