Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize