After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
