Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
