found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
