i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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