Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
