Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
