the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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