but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
