I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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