Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hippo gnu deer
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
