So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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