I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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