just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am available for nakedness
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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