New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
