i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
